What To Do When You Get Thrown A Curveball.

If you are a caregiver, you know exactly what I mean when I say I have been thrown a curveball. It happens when we have worked so hard to have all the ducks in a row, all the tasks completed, routines established, difficulties eased, conditions addressed, and everyone calm, safe and pain-free. We might even have managed to sprinkle some fairy dust and spread a little extra happiness. Then out of the blue, we get a phone call that something has happened, a test comes back worrisome, someone wakes up with a new ailment, a condition seems to have gone to the next phase, someone you depend on is no longer able to work or help, or on a more simple note, no matter what you do, there is no soothing the patient. Not only do I feel that it’s my fault because I let my guard is down, but I’m so disappointed since things were going so well. I always feel that I was just catching my breath and then someone punched in the stomach. Adrenalin, panic, worry, and frustration hit me all at once as I go into crisis management mode. Exhaustion isn’t far behind. I saw a tweet today from an amazing Caregiver Warrior who said the when curveballs get thrown at her, she responds by putting one foot in front of the other. Great tip from a great lady. I’d like to add a few other tactics that also helped me survive a few curve balls of my own. 1.One day at a time  This is so hard to do, but trying to take one day, one task, even one minute at a time when I can do it, really helps me focus.  It makes it easier for me to stay in the now and stop worrying about the future. Just like today was a surprise and not what I expected, tomorrow is completely out of my control and I have no idea what it brings. Why live through it now? Today is the only day I have to face and get through right now. The future is up for grabs. 2. Do the task at hand I found great relief by doing the tasks at hand, one by one. I often write them down. By taking actions and then letting go of the results, I can keep going and not look back. Taking action helps me get through my panic and being thrown by the cursed curveball. It doesn’t give me control over the unexpected but it gives me control over my reaction to it. It gets me unstuck. 3. Ask for help Caregiving takes a village. I love to think I’m a lone ranger and always have everything under control but the truth is no one can do it alone. Especially when things get out of whack or I have lost my balance. Having complete control is never possible, but especially during unsettling times, it can feel like pure chaos. Even if we are the main caregiver and do most of it by ourselves, at the very least we need a trusted friend we can talk to. At best, we can make sure we have a team of friends and family that can back us up and relieve us when we are thrown off our game and need help. The minute we feel overwhelmed, we need to wave the white flag, pick up the phone and let people who want to help us do so. It’s never a sign of weakness to know when we can use an extra pair of hands. Everyone around us benefits when we ask for help and get it. So the next time that stinking curveball gets thrown out to you, try these tactics. Know you are not alone, and no one has singled you out. They are a regular, normal part of the caregiving journey. We all get thrown by them. However, in the Caregiver Warrior fashion, we will take them as they come, and successfully navigate each and every one of them. Because that’s what we do!