Keep the Focus on Yourself!

I had heard the phrase keep the focus on yourself for years. I thought I knew what it meant and did, to a certain extent. It was a call of action to keep the focus on me and not any other person. Which made a lot of sense. I should be focused on my part, not someone else’s.

The truth is, I was really just going through the motions and doing yet another great call to action; “act as if”! I was acting or trying to act as though I completely understood what it was like to keep the focus on myself. I truly tried to make sure everything I did and said had me in it.

I was focusing on everyone but me.

Yet from years of worrying about what everyone else thought, wanted, or needed, my focus was really anywhere but on me. When I became the caregiver to both of my parents, the focus dilemma was really activated. Surely my entire focus should be on those I cared for, no?

Actually, my entire focus, more than ever, needed to be put back on me. I had a huge battle with myself around this issue and learned quite a bit about what it meant to keep the focus on me. Here’s what I came up with.

What other people think of me is none of my business!

I absolutely needed to pay attention to the needs and wants of my parents in every way possible. However, what I did need to stop focusing on was anyone’s opinion about how I met those needs. I was doing a great job, the very best one I could be doing and I was always searching to find the next right thing to do. Anyone else’s opinion about that was none of my business and I had to remain steadfast in my support and approval from within myself, not outside of myself. It was an inside job. As I continued to care for my parents it became obvious that I had to listen to my heart and not engage in anyone’s opinion of the job I was doing. Not even my parents! While I had to remain open and receptive to any constructive criticism or positive suggestions for improvement, I should never allow unfounded criticism or judgment to get under my skin, upset me, or influence me.

Self-awareness is key!

Self-awareness played a big role in this process, and as I really watched how I reacted when I engaged with other people and why, I began to tune out the noise and concern myself with the important things, not the negative things or people. Keeping the focus on me, my life and how I was living it kept my side of the street clean.

So when you feel like people around you are giving you a hard time or are acting out and carrying on, focus on yourself! Remember why you are doing what you are doing, and honor yourself for a job well done. Hopefully, your power of example will inspire them to keep their focus where it should be! Either way, when the only opinion you need is inside your own heart, you’ll never go wrong.