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Self-Care for Caregivers
The ultimate Caregivers guide to resilience, strength, and balance.
Holidays in the Hospital
I have celebrated various holidays, birthdays and anniversaries in a hospital room with loved ones. Even though no one complained, it was tough. So I tried to do everything I could to make the occasion a festive, positive and enjoyable experience.
Here are a few things to consider if you are spending the Holidays this year visiting someone in the hospital. They are simple things to do and try and they just might make your visit more enjoyable for all.
Food
Check with the staff and see if there is a special meal they are serving if it’s a holiday like Thanksgiving and make sure to order it. If there’s no special meal and your loved one’s diet allows it, bring them some of their favorite dishes. Remember not to bring huge amounts which may overwhelm them, just enough to tempt their appetite and allow them to enjoy home cooking. If their diet is restricted see if there is a special drink or hard candy they might enjoy as a treat. Ask the staff what they would suggest if you need to be inventive.
Decorate
Many hospitals decorate and do what they can to make things festive. You can make the actual hospital room a little brighter by bringing in things like a lamp for the bedside table or birthday or Christmas decorations. String some cards together or display them. Hang the wall TV with garland! Bring a pretty throw or light festive blanket that might cheer things up.
Join the Festivities
Check with the staff to see if anything special is planned. If your loved one is up for it, join in. If they are not up to it, see if it’s something that might be nice for you. You could take a break and enjoy the singing or crafts or whatever they have planned. It just might be that much-needed reprieve for you.
Check out the special services
Make sure you are in touch with the social worker assigned to your case and see what services they have to offer. When my Dad was in rehab, they had visiting service dogs and both of my parents just loved meeting and hanging out with them. When another family member was in hospice, someone came to the room with a portable keyboard and played Beatle songs and we all sang! It was wonderful. Everyone laughed and cried and the patient was so happy!
Music
Music is the best healer of all. Everyone has their favorite music and studies prove that music affects all of us in a positive way. See if there is music the patient would love to hear. It’s so easy today to provide music with earphones for privacy or even be able to play something softly without disturbing anyone else.
Read the room
Pay attention to how the patient is feeling. If they begin to tire, end the visit or go to the cafeteria or lounge and grab a cup of coffee. The excitement may be too much or they might just need to rest. I would often tell my Dad to close his eyes and I would be right by him or outside working or reading. I also closed my eyes! It’s important not to overstimulate or overstay your welcome.
Don’t forget Cookies for the nurses and the aides
I’ve never seen a plate or tin of cookies go to waste at the nurses’ station! It’s so easy to pick up a plate of cookies at the supermarket and then bring them to the hospital or faculty. It means so much to the staff when we think of them. Everyone loves a treat, especially when working on a Holiday. You will earn the ever-important angel points from the staff.
Relax
Finally, try and relax and go with the flow. I know how hard it is to have someone in the hospital. When special occasions arise making us yearn for the normal celebrations we are used to at home, it can be upsetting. But don’t get carried away with how it should be, stay present for what is and what it could be. ‘Tis the season for joy regardless of the location!
I hope these suggestions were helpful. Spending holidays and special days in the hospital is never easy, but my family found that although it was challenging, we were blessed. We all tried to remember that Thanksgiving was all about the things we are thankful for. Holidays were about love and being together and birthdays were about honoring the day that special someone was born. Keeping our focus on these important and real reasons to celebrate helped us enjoy the day no matter where we were as long as we were with each other.
I wish the happiest of Holidays for you and your family. Much Love!
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Dear Caregiver Warriors,
As one Caregiver Warrior to another, I offer advice, helpful tips, and strategies based on the experience, strength, and hope I found while surviving my own caregiving journey. It has become my mission to share my stories and the things I learned about being an empowered caregiver. To help spread the word and offer guidance to other caregivers, I have written a new book entitled “Self Care for Caregivers: a practical guide to caring for you while you care for your loved one.” It’s available at your favorite bookstore. There is even a audio version so you can listen on the go! If you find the book everything you hoped for, please let me know and please leave a review where you purchased the book! Your feedback means the world to me!
Thank you for this helpful guide chock full of practical advice and great ideas. It really helps caregivers feel more connected. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m so glad you found them useful! May you have the happiest of Holidays!
Thanks for this bit of encouragement. At 98 years of age my mother’s hospital stays are becoming more frequent and lengthy. Thirteen in the last four years and of course there is the usual discharge to rehab when the hospital stay ends. So I have been spending a lot of holidays in the hospital lately. I’ve celebrated the last three Christmas and New Year’s holidays there with my mother and the last year’s Easter. Now we just spent Thanksgiving there. So it’s getting to be a regular thing with us. The thing is that being in that environment on holidays really does focus your thoughts on what is really important or meaningful. Just generally speaking my life as a caregiver has become so simple. All of the stuff that used to be so important and took up so much of my time and energy just is’nt important to me anymore. Now it’s one day at a time and one foot in front of the other. This morning can be fine and all hell can break loose tonight when dealing with someone in such delicate condition, so you just need to be able to deal with whatever happens whenever it might occur. So I have found that in your own life as a caregiver it’s important to “keep it simple” and “don’t sweat the small stuff” because when dealing with matters of life and death and love,pretty much everything else really is just “small stuff”. As I write this it’s 2am and I am watching my Mother sleeping after having a bad night tonight. Should I call the ambulance and take her to the hospital or wait a while to see if she is okay. I think she is okay for now. But I’ll just stay up and keep an eye on her. It’s what I do and right now it’s the only thing I can do, but it’s okay. The rest of the world will just have to go round without my input for now. I can’t take care of the world now, but I can take care of my mother. The world will just have to wait.
Wow. You are amazing and always were. There’s so much inspiration in your words and life and how you are living it. I love “when dealing with life and death and matters of love pretty much everything else’s becomes small stuff. It’s a perspective that only a Caregiver can appreciate. I’m thinking of you and Mom and sending much love. Thank you so much for all that you do, the grace with which you do it and the inspiration you are showing us all.