My Mom Died a Brunette: How I Celebrated her life.

My Mom was an Irish Catholic from the greatest generation. She died a brunette thanks to me because I colored and set her hair in her pink rollers regularly.

I had signed up as her caregiver when she was diagnosed with dementia and ended up adding hairdresser and beautician to my skill set.

Hairdresser was not on my bingo card!

In the beginning, I thought this beauty treatment was for her but now realize it was also for me. I needed to see the Mom I knew as she became someone I didn’t recognize. I also knew that something so important for her had to become something so important for me.

My childhood was filled with a Mom who never left the house without her hair done, her makeup on, and her ruby red nail polish. She was so proud of her appearance and was always dressed to the nines. She took pride in “cutting a good figure” as my parents would say.

My Mom took great pride in her appearance.

She was diagnosed with dementia in her 80’s but we still carried on her grooming tradition well into her final days. I became extremely handy with hair color from Sally’s and nail polish from CVS. That nail polish threatened to become the death of me since she had to touch it up every time we left her apt, usually at the last minute. So I learned to build in “nail polishing time” to the schedule to stay on it.

It was a heartbreaking day when she no longer had a desire to touch up her red nails.

Celebrating her life was my honor.

As she cared less and less about her appearance, making the effort became even more important to me. I made sure she always looked like a million bucks. Although she stopped initiating hair color and curl day and having her polished nails, she always went along for the ride and sat so calmly and happily. We chatted and laughed. I’d like to believe that was her way of telling me I was making her feel special and pampered and most importantly, dignified and proud.

I pulled off a lot during the time I cared for my mom. I conquered crises, climbed mountains, beat down doors, and fixed problems we should have never had, but the simple act of making sure my mom died a brunette is probably what I’m most proud of. I believe she somehow knew I had her back until the very end by making sure the world always saw my mom the way I did. A beautiful force to be reckoned with.

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Dear Caregiver Warriors,

As one Caregiver Warrior to another, I offer advice, helpful tips, and strategies based on the experience, strength, and hope I found while surviving my own caregiving journey. It has become my mission to share my stories and the things I learned about being an empowered caregiver. To help spread the word and offer guidance to other caregivers, I have written a new book entitled “Self Care for Caregivers: a practical guide to caring for you while you care for your loved one.”  It’s available at your favorite bookstore. There is even a audio version so you can listen on the go! If you find the book everything you hoped for, please let me know and please leave a review where you purchased the book! Your feedback means the world to me!