3 Top Things to do When You Become a Caregiver.

I remember my early days of caregiving like it was yesterday. Perhaps not moment by moment but the all the emotions and how I floundered through them. I was frightened worried, panicked and completely overwhelmed. I had absolutely no idea where to start. 

I have spoken to so many caregivers at the start of their caregiving journey who have felt the same panic. They tell me how daunting the job seems and how stressed they were by not knowing where to begin. There is always this sense of urgency because people’s lives and well being are at stake and the need to take immediate action is hanging over their heads. 

I think this initial reaction is universal. It stands to reason that such an important position brings with it a tremendous sense of responsibility and triggers a need to accomplish so much so fast. I was able to survive this early stage of my caregiving journey by following a few simple but important guidelines. Consider these gentle reminders when it all feels too big to wrap your head and heart around. 

1. Slow down

Although this is not a race, if it were it is a marathon. We must pace ourselves for the long haul. Jumping in and wearing ourselves down and expending all our energy at the start will leave us depleted and worn out. Caregiver Burnout can be an issue here and we want to avoid that at all costs. Take a deep breath (and many of them along the way) and slow it all down. Take in the world around you and start to ease into it all bit by bit. You don’t need to do it all at once. Miraculously it will all get done in the perfect time in the perfect way.

2. Leave perfectionism at the door

There is absolutely no right or wrong way to be a Caregiver Warrior. We are all individuals, different people with unique stories and circumstances. How we care for those we love is up to us and our personal best. Trying to be perfect is a complete waste of time and energy and hurts everyone involved. No one is perfect. There are no rules, no judges, and no timelines. Progress not perfection is the goal. 

3. Allow time to adapt 

There is a huge learning curve for all caregivers no matter what the situation is. So much to learn, so much to understand, so much to get used to for all involved. If caring for a parent or a loved one who has been wounded or is now ill, there is a dramatic role reversal. This can throw everyone off balance. Everyone needs time to adapt. Patience and compassion both for those we care for and ourselves is critical. Give yourself plenty of time to adjust, learn and get settled no matter how long it takes. This is a process, not an event. We are all human doing the best we can. Just suit up and show up. You will find a rhythm and balance even when things seem out of sync. It just takes time. 

I recently told a dear friend to just show up and it will all fall into place. No one knows all the answers and yet it somehow all gets worked out. Believe in yourself and the natural flow of things. Then be kind and easy on yourself. You got this.