Zip Your Lip

Caregiver Warrior

One of my favorite Caregiver Warrior tools is “Zip your lip!” This is an amazing tool but a hard one to prefect. I usually forget I have it or have a hard time using it. But when I do remember it or can pull it off, wow! The results are terrific! Given my personality I usually rush right in to take care of everything and want to fix it all immediately. This enthusiasm serves me well because I truly want to take care of everyone and that good intention helps me be a great Caregiver. However, quite often my immediate reaction to something or my opinion has not been asked for and is not appreciated or needed. Being a great listener is a spectacular skill and a great gift for both people involved. I remember I was very upset about something that happened to me in a work situation and I was looking for a way to handle the people involved. A dear friend gave me great advice. “Listen and win” he told me, “Listen and win.” Man, did that serve me well in those days and continues to serve me in all areas of my life. I made it a screen saver on my computer so I would remember it because I love to hear myself talk! Quite often those we take care of can be tired, grouchy, scared or in pain. Saying things they don’t really mean, being nasty, or complaining are usually a side effect of all of this discomfort. If we respond in kind or with the same tone or attitude we are sure to start an argument. Instead, just listening without judgement with perhaps an understanding nod of the head or an occasional “I’m sorry” works wonders. It allows the other person to let off steam and feel like they are being heard. We can’t fix the way they are feeling anyway but by “zipping our lip”, we allow them to experience someone really listening to them. That alone can make them feel better. We all love a good listener. Even if our loved ones are not cranky or grouchy, practicing zipped lips on a daily basis is a great habit to get into. Instead of flying around trying to get all the chores and duties done I tried to spend some quality time just sitting and listening to my mom and dad. I ended up with great memories. I love the saying “does it have to be said, does it have to be said now and does it have I be said by me?” Saying that in my head before I open my mouth makes me think twice about barging in with my opinion or comments. Magic can happen in those moments of silence. I can think through the conversation that’s happening and when I do make a comment 9 times out of 10 it will be a much better one more suited to harmony for all involved. So try it! “Zip your lip” and see what’s happens!