New Thoughts On Anxiety And How To Manage It

I’ve had some new thoughts on anxiety after the crappy week I’ve had. Nothing major, just life on life’s terms where mini screw-ups or semi-serious challenges hit me every other day. So, of course, true to being who I am, I got hopped up, worried, my anxiety started building, I couldn’t sleep for a night or two and my eating went from can’t, to let’s have more peanut butter cookies from my favorite coffee shop (they are gluten-free) to the point where I’m nauseous! Ha! Oh and a headache.

One of the scariest things for me about my anxiety is how I have seemingly no control over it. It can blindside me and hang around as long as it wants. I pride myself on really working hard at my healthy attitude and spiritual life and it scares me and makes me angry that I can’t make this go away or prevent it when it happens. I’m learning, however, that I make myself worse by being angry at myself for being anxious or getting anxious that I’m anxious! Compunding the anxiety with anger and more worry allows the anxiety to stick around longer.

I’m now observing myself when I’m anxious

I have been on a new campaign to watch myself, feel my body, and listen to the conversation in my head when my anxiety hits me so I can manage the anxiety better and get out of it faster, so this week gave me a perfect opportunity to observe myself! While doing this didn’t make my challenges go away or solve my anxiety issues, there was a shift in how my anxiety played out and how quickly I recovered. So here are some new thoughts on how to ride the anxiety wave and get safely back to that sunny shore.

1. What’s my mind saying?
I’ve learned to pay attention to what I’m saying to myself. My internal chatter can be extremely upsetting. I start to go over and over something and before you know it the worst-case scenario is about to happen and I’m going to die. Not really of course, but whatever began to upset me, has spiraled out of control. Rather than keep telling myself how bad it is, it’s important to try and stand back and listen to my negative self-talk.

2. What’s my body saying?
When my anxiety kicks up or something triggers it, my body immediately reacts. It happens so fast. Before you know it my heart is racing and my stomach starts to feel queasy and my breath becomes shallow. My body has gone into flight or fight mode and I feel awful. When this happens now, I start observing what I am feeling physically, noticing how my body is reacting and what it’s doing to my state of mind. I make my physical reactions the focus of my attention.

3. How can I answer what my mind and body are saying?
By trying to observe what I’m saying and feeling physically and emotionally I begin to slow the anxiety down and get closer to feeling better. Instead of going over and over the actual event or concern I have, I’m spending my resources to watch the show instead of being in it. The first thing I can do is stop what I’m doing and breathe; good deep breaths to try and get my heart to slow down and my stomach to stop turning over. Taking those few minutes to breathe is key. Removing myself from the situation I’m in if that’s what triggered me is also helpful. Then I begin to listen to what I’m saying. I can actually have a conversation with myself about how serious it really is and whether or not I am in real danger. Is the house on fire or is the hamburger burning a little? Is this the end of the world or is it just something unpleasant? It is reminding me of things that happened years ago? As I answer these questions, the reality of the situation starts to get clearer, and instead of spiraling down a rabbit hole of panic, I am talking myself back to a state where I can begin to recover and move on. I’m re-directing my fear and worry into regrouping and calming down. I’m soothing myself by reminding myself that this is how I get, there is no real danger and I will feel better soon. I’ve been triggered by something and it’s not fun but I’m safe. I’ve been through this before and survived.

I want to be in the anxiety driver’s seat.

Trying to stand back and observe things is new for me. Having anxiety is something I will probably live with forever, but watching and being mindful of the process my anxiety goes through rather that rolling around in it helps put me in the anxiety driver’s seat. I can also pick up a passenger along the way and share what I’m going through with them. Talking my worries and concerns over with someone I trust when I catch my breath is really helpful to me.

I’d love to know if this helps you with your anxiety and want to know if you have any tricks you use to beat the anxiety monster. Good luck!

Dear Caregiver Warriors,

As one Caregiver Warrior to another, I offer advice, helpful tips, and strategies based on the experience, strength, and hope I found while surviving my own caregiving journey. It has become my mission to share my stories and the things I learned about being an empowered caregiver. To help spread the word and offer guidance to other caregivers, I have written a new book entitled “Self Care for Caregivers: a practical guide to caring for you while you care for your loved one.”  It’s available at your favorite bookstore. There is even a audio version so you can listen on the go! If you find the book everything you hoped for, please let me know and please leave a review where you purchased the book! Your feedback means the world to me!