How We Heal

I have been thinking about how we heal. I had a fascinating and serious conversation with a dear friend recently who has just gone trough the final stages of chemo and radiation therapy and is courageously on the mend. We discussed many things during that conversation but the topic that struck us the most was how we heal. My friend is ready to get on with her healing process and wants to make some changes to her team. She isn’t as comfortable as she wanted to be with her doctors because she feels her questions weren’t really being answered in a way that makes her feel safe and informed. She feels that since she has been through the hurricane of the immediate diagnosis, operation, and aftermath she would like to now seek out other doctors and hospitals to help her complete the rest of her healing journey. I support her completely because I have seen and felt first hand how some doctors can make me feel frustrated and confused and therefore frightened, while some can make me feel safe, protected and enthusiastic about getting better. In the recent issue of AARP magazine, there is a statement about healing that says doctors who make eye contact and give a pat on the back may boost the survival rate of patients with complex diseases. It’s also been proven that a good percentage of healing comes from trusting and believing that those who doctor and care for us really do care about us and will help us get better. It appears that how we feel about those who care for us directly effects how quickly we heal. Feeling confident about the doctors, nurses and institutions we have entrusted with our health, well being and recovery with makes all the difference in the world. Feeling that they are being supportive, informative and caring creates a positive space for us to get better, faster. It works for me personally when doctors and nurses are empathetic, kind and understanding as well as positive when I go to them with health concerns. If I’m in the presence of someone who makes me feel heard and cared about, I feel like I’m going to be ok. I calm down and begin my healing process. When I have medical professionals who treat my loved ones with those same qualities, we all relax. They begin the journey to their personal best health and I feel relieved that we have found the answers. I do believe we are all entitled to doctors and nurses who take the time to nurture and support us with clear and detailed information along with empathy and compassion. I remember when my Dad had an issue after his open heart surgery, the first specialist we saw was rough, abrupt and negative. Both my Dad and I suffered from that experinece. I was angry and heartbroken and my Dad was discouraged. Luckily I had the courage to stand up for my Dad and demand to see another doctor when we returned for the next visit. The outcome of that courage was miraculous because we ended up with one of the best doctors we’ve ever seen who got my Dad to a much better quality of life. My Dad was always ready, willing and positive so he thrived under this doctor’s interest, compassion, and support. When working with doctors and medical professionals for either yourself or your loved ones, make sure you are getting your needs met, questions answered, and the positive and caring support you need. If you aren’t, either discuss it with them or consider making a change to someone or somewhere else if that’s possible. When on a healing journey everyone can benefit from feeling safe, secure, heard and supported. We all deserve to heal as quickly as we can. Stand up for yourself and your loved ones and get the “care” you deserve.