Caregiver Warrior Despair And Dreams

Caregiver Warrior

I saw a young women today on the subway with a child who was wearing one of those neck pillows around his neck one wears in airplanes to keep your head stabilized if you fall sleep. She was telling her child not to full asleep and gently encouraging him to eat some Cheerios from a small container. He was adorable and she was not more that a child herself. I realized there must be something amiss with the child and he must have a medical issue. I thought to myself that if this was the case this young woman could be looking at a lifetime of caregiving for this child. I wanted to reach out and hug both of them, tell them I was praying for them and some how let her know that she was amazing and I pray she doesn’t feel the understandable and unavoidable despair that Caregiver Warriors can feel when the caregiving seems to be endless and insurmountable. I knew this despair myself even though my caregiving experience was not life long. It’s one of those feelings that goes with the territory. You can feel like your life is being swallowed by a gigantic black hole and you are being suffocated or drowned. You think there is no way out and your dreams are never going to have a chance to flourish and come true. Finding a way to fight off this despair or at least work through it (as they say the only way out of it is through it) is never easy. I would tell that young woman to try some of the following things that helped me. 1. Get support! Reach out to family and friends to help you. Whether it’s coming over to spend time with your loved one so you can get out and do things for yourself or even just lending a ear so you can talk about your life and dreams. There are many ways your support system can help you. Let them! 2. Check out local community programs. See if there are day care centers in your community that you can send your loved one to for a morning or afternoon or a few hours. There are many wonderful volunteer groups and church organizations that offer day care. 3. Keep the focus on yourself. Of course we must take the utmost care of those we are committed to, however we must put ourselves first and make sure we are rested, eating healthy meals and exercising. 4. Keep the faith! I was at my wits end so many times and so many times the storm would pass and the sun would come back out in my life. I learned that there are angels all around me, earthbound and heavenly and I would constantly be asking the universe and those angels for help. I would pray for a miracle everyday and on my good days expect one to happen. You can have a quality of life that includes joy and wonder as well as despair. We are wondrous beings with the ability to adapt and cope with insurmountable difficulties. 5. Don’t ignore your dreams! Dreams never die they are just ignored. If you give them the slightest encouragement they will find a way of coming true. Believe and the universe will surprise you. You have chosen a path that is not easy but if you carve out some time for yourself and your dreams the path can take you to joyful places. Here’s to that young woman and all the Caregiver Warriors out there who are such courageous, wonderful and caring souls. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I pray that your despair is fleeting and you hold on to your dreams until they come true.