Love And Caregiving

Caregiver Warrior

It’s absolutely amazing what we will do and the lengths we will go to because we love someone. Love is like a magic potion that creates miracle and acts of extraordinary measure. I was just thinking today of all the things I do and have done for someone because I love them. Things I would never have thought I would do or even could do. Things that I look back on in wonder and say “how did I do that?” Love is a powerful tool in general and invaluable when you are a Caregiver Warrior. It allows us to lift and let go of things that normally bother us so we can respond to situations in a kind and gentle way. I find it so much easier to care for someone when I can see them through the eyes of love. When the going gets tough for me and I have lost sight of this feeling of love for the person I’m caring for I have an exercise I try to do. I try and go back in my mind to a time or memory of the person that is light hearted and joyful and they were doing something that just made me smile and appreciate them. I try and hold on to that memory for as long as I can and re-play it in my mind over and over. My mom was always dressed to the nines and never left the house without her make-up on and her nails painted bright red. During the last few years of her life her ability to do the upkeep on her hair and make up and nails became beyond her. She would however, always and I mean always make the attempt with sometimes disastrous results. I pledged that I would try and help her maintain her hair, makeup and nails and make sure she was always “well turned out” as my dad would say. Needless to say since my mom had such a strong personality and I’m no shrinking violet, as I would try and help her the fur would fly and nail polish and hair curlers flew in all directions! I found by saying the serenity prayer and then picturing my mom and my nana and a next door neighbor in a memory I had from childhood where we were all on my nana’s porch in the summer and they were plucking each other’s eyebrows (ouch!) and carrying on and laughing and having a wonderful girl time. My nana and mom were joyful and fun and it was a great connection between all of us. I actually would go over this memory out loud with my mom every week when I would color or set her hair. She would laugh every week when I re-told the story and sometimes add details to it. So by seeing my mom in the light of that memory helped me remember a part of her that I loved and appreciated. By approaching her in the present with a good memory of how and why I loved her I was able to be more patient and more gentle. When I engaged her in the memory with me she responded with happiness and she too was more gentle. Acting from a place of love makes whatever chore or experience you are having easier, richer and open to miracles. My mom died a brunette at the age of 88 by the way (brown #10 thank you very much) a fact I’m sure she’s happy with somewhere. So my intentions were good, I kept my pledge to her and love made it easy.