Shut Up!

Self Help

Note to self: “Shut up!” Harsh? Nah. Necessary. I have never heard such a nasty critical judgmental conversation as bad as the one I can have in my own head with myself! It can start the minute my eyes pop open when I wake up in the morning. “Oh @@&%, another day” or “OMG, I have so much to do today I’ll never get it done” or “I can’t face today it’s going to be awful” or “Crap, you over slept again! Get up, get up.”¬†Then it continues as I get ready, look at myself in the mirror, try to plan my day and get going.¬†”I’m so tired, I don’t feel good, I can’t get everything done, something bad is going to happen today, things are getting worse, I look like crap, I have nothing to wear…” Shut up!!! Stop it! See a big red stop sign in your head and stop the negative dialogue. If I tell myself I’m going to have a crappy day, guess what? I have a crappy day. If I tell myself that everything is going to go great today, that I have a fresh start and my day is going to be great, guess what? My day goes smoothly. Yes, things come up on a daily basis that can potentially ruin my day but the damage I sustain from those things is directly influenced by what I’m saying in my head about them. If I say “Omg this is the worst thing that can happen!”, my mind and body respond by freaking out even more. If I say “Ok, this is tough but I’m safe and all is well and I always take care of and fix everything”, I am not as traumatized and my recovery time is much much faster. I can control how happy or unhappy I am by changing the conversation in my head. I have read 50 million self help books that all say the same thing, thoughts are things and you can change your life by what and how you think. And you know what? It’s true. No one can tell me why and it’s really hard to break the habit of critical negative self talk but it works eventually. Period. My inner dialogue can make the difference between a miserable anxiety ridden life or a positive self supporting life that feels good. Louise Hay now in her 80s and still going strong is a mind body teacher who offers a simple solution to a blessed life. Love and approve of yourself and your life will improve drastically. Perhaps not overnight but quickly and easily. She has many simple excersizes to do and here’s an example of a few of them:

1. What is the first thing you think in the morning? See what that is and replace it with thanking your bed for a great night’s sleep or try saying “Its a new day and a new me!”Or “Today is going to be great!” You can substitute anything positive that works for you. Try it every morning and make it a habit.

2. Look at yourself in the eyes in the mirror and say to yourself “I love you”. Seems simple enough but you may be surprised at how difficult it can be. I believe that’s because we look at ourselves in the mirror and criticize our looks and ourselves.

3. Instead of beating yourself up and criticizing yourself say “I approve of myself, I approve of myself” over and over all day. Say it as a chant. Another little affirmation I say to myself is “All is well, I am safe” when I am in the thick of worry, anxiety or feeling overwhelmed. That simple affirmations calms my soul. If we begin to give ourselves approval and change that negative conversation we have in out heads to a loving, soothing conversation the results are amazing. Pay attention to what you are saying to yourself. If it isn’t pleasant, positive and nice, shut up! Then try and find something positive and supportive to tell yourself. The bottom line is you are caring for other people as well as yourself and giving great service to the world. So speak to yourself with respect and kindness. You deserve it!